so, maybe this is a stupid thing to write on the interwebs, but, i am thinking about leaving my job. not necessarily in the next few days or weeks, but in the next few months for sure.
i have a pretty good idea of what the reaction to this will be. i am painfully aware of the fact that it is, on the surface at least, a Very Good Job. the company is prestigious, it actually requires and involves my B.A. in art history, i have real responsibilities and interact with Very Important People on a regular basis. i also have an incredible group of coworkers on the junior level of the company, without which i would not have made it through the last two years.
i am also even more painfully aware of How Tough It Is Out There. we are currently trying to hire an additional assistant, and the number of applications we have received for a very entry-level job is haunting.
despite this, i am leaving. the place is rotten from the top down, managed by unreasonable people with complete disregard for logic or for the sanity of lower level employees. we are seen as infinitely replaceable. HR is a joke. there is little room for growth. the quality of work and number of hours that junior employees are expected to put in does not line up with pay or working conditions. we are expected to be available day and night, on weekends, during vacations, and yet it is considered unreasonable to ask for a permanent desk or enough staff, unreasonable to ask questions, unreasonable to present possibile strategies to change the inefficient way that the company functions.
there is also, perhaps more importantly, the fact that i do not feel anything for what the company is trying to accomplish, for the values it promotes. i do not want my boss’s job. even at the best of times, i have not seen a long-term future for myself. i would like to work at a company that believes in the value of art as accessible, a company that does not have at its core a determination to obscure knowledge and facts and art itself.
i am not sure what the job for me is, or if it even exists, but i hope to spend some time in the next few months searching for it.